1. We're extremely controlling. You may have heard some writer rant on about how "my characters tell me how to write - they just want their story out there." No. They are our characters, we control their lives. We get confused when it doesn't work on you.
2. We love conflict. Without conflict, there are no good books. Evil glares, random screaming, dramatic storming out of the room (that's a hint for you to stop talking so the scene can end, by the way)... yeah, we do all that.
3. We're really convincing. It's our job to make stuff up and make you believe it. We get rather upset when you don't.
4. We think the worst. You know, that conflict thing again. You're going to the Rocky Mountains? Somebody's gonna fall....
5. We go through weird phases. Sometimes we're snuggled up in a chair with a notebook and snap at anybody who tries to take our attention away from our stories. Other times we want to talk your ears off about our new ideas.
I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now.